It’s true. If someone dips their bread-crumb covered knife into my precious jar of Jif all-natural peanut butter, I may (read: will) get upset. Because in case you don’t quite understand celiac disease, any teeny, tiny, trace amount of gluten (found in bread, crackers, pasta, anything wheat/rye/barley-based, plus a thousand other things) can do damage to my body.

So keep your knife to yourself. I like my condiments uncontaminated.

I’ve been gluten free for nearly eight years. Funny to think I haven’t eaten bread for more than a third of my life. Well, “real” bread, that is. As hard as the adjustment to being GF was, now it’s something I rarely have to think about. It’s just, well, how life is. And honestly, I don’t really mind it (most of the time). It’s made me aware of food and health and helped me be more careful about what I put into my body (chocolate exempted).

A lady came into the coffee shop last week who had just been diagnosed with celiac and was nearly in tears because she had no idea how she would ever adjust. She said everything she’s bought or baked had tasted like cardboard and her husband wouldn’t eat anything she made. (Note to future husband: You will eat my GF creations. And they will be delicious.) So I baked her some super chocolate-y cookies and pulled out some macarons from my stash and gave them to her the next time she came in. Someone needed to show her that it would be alright. (And she later told me her husband loved the cookies. )

And it is alright. Really, don’t ever feel sorry for me. But also don’t ever wave a slice of pizza or a big cookie in my face as if to “tempt” me. That’s another lesson from a gluten-free life. Acknowledge the fact that we can’t eat that pizza or cookie, but don’t teasingly rub it in. Yes, we have senses of humor, and yes we’re glad you’re aware of our dietary restrictions, but it’s really annoying when you think you’re being funny by waving delicious-smelling gluten-containing foods in our faces. So don’t.

Another lesson: while we like talking about celiac/gluten intolerance and spreading awareness, it’s not fun to be that person who has to call the dinner host ahead of time to tell them the list of 500 things we can’t eat, or to be that person who has to mess up everyone’s dinner plans because there’s absolutely nothing on the menu at the Italian restaurant that doesn’t contain gluten. I’ve had a handful of friends (and even a few dates! extra points for them) who called restaurants ahead of time to see if there was a GF menu, or who told their moms/friends/hostess of the house I was going to that I couldn’t eat gluten. And when they had boxes of GF cereal and GF pasta and had already meals planned that were Dana-friendly, I cannot tell you how loved I felt. So if you want to make your GF friends feel extra special and cared for, take the initiative and do some of the grunt work for them. That might be the one single thing I appreciate more than anything else.

So there’s a few lessons from a GF life for you. And if you want extra points, buy me some of that super expensive GF food that I rarely splurge on for myself. Or bake me GF cookies. But don’t tell me how delicious that piece of cake tastes. I may slap it out of your hands.

And don’t ever, ever dip your knife in my peanut butter.