How you know you are loved…

People, I am so loved. So taken care of. So protected.

I’ve been running myself ragged the past few weeks, trying to cram as much goodness as possible into my last weeks at home. I’ve visited dear friends, worked lots of (early morning) hours at the coffeeshop, drank too much coffee, stayed up late for Tuesday game nights, and watched my way too-adorable-for-her-own-good niece on my days off. Continue reading

10:36 p.m.

I have so many unpublished blog posts I’ve written in the past couple weeks sitting in the queue that I could send into cyberspace tonight. My computer and my journal are full of words, and there’s even more thoughts flying through my head and my heart. But I’m having trouble hitting the publish button. So for now, those blogs will stay in the queue.

And tonight I’ll just talk. Continue reading

{all these precious fleeting moments}

I haven’t been writing much lately. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I can count the number of weeks I have left at home on one hand, and there are so many other things I’d rather spend my time doing.

Like making coffee at 6 a.m. for all my favorite regulars.

Or making monkey noises and singing the “E, F, Gs” with my niece. Continue reading

Too short

I say it multiple times a week:

Life’s too short to be crabby. Or rude. Or mean.

I say it in response to crabby people in my cash register line. To rude people who cut in front of me in traffic. To mean people who snatch money from our tip jar at work (yes, that does happen).

I say it again and again and again (too often saying it without grace in my voice). Continue reading

The roundabout ways

I’ve been stuck in the 23rd Psalm lately. Its comfort and its promises are soothing, are filling me with peace. The past couple days I have been especially struck by this line:

“He guides me in straight paths for His Name’s sake.”

A book I’m reading by Rabbi Harold Kushner says the Hebrew phrase “straight paths” has a more complex meaning than the English translation conveys. In Hebrew, “straight paths” literally means “roundabout ways that end up in the right direction.”

Roundabout ways that end up in right direction. Continue reading

Chewy banana bread

Earlier this week, my two-year-old niece and I made banana bread together. I would measure out the ingredients and she would pour them into the bowl. Flour, sugar, salt, oil, vanilla. She smiled as she dumped the ingredients together and looked concerned when we spilled flour on the counter and on our clothes. “It’s okay, Abby,” I said as I brushed the floury evidence from her shirt. “You mom will never have to know,” I smiled and whispered. Continue reading

cracks in the sidewalk

{You must believe that I Am, in fact, good}

Those are the words that have echoed through my head all week.

You must believe that I Am good.

I must believe.

The first step is always believing. Continue reading